I really expected that by the time I had reached 7 years of marriage that hubby and I would've learned how to discuss things well...this is apparently NOT the case.
Whether it's politics, passports, predestination or popsicles we lose are heads every time and completely forget the other's discussion needs.
Take me: I need time to process. Bring me the initial issue of discussion, debate for 20 minutes...then let me go do the dishes and process all the pertinent information and pray.
Hubby's style is discuss it, discuss it, discuss it until an answer is found. He's an outloud processor and likes my input.
I like to hear both sides and then mull it over while my emotions calm down.
It's irritating to both of us because we want to argue effectively so that the most God-honoring solution is reached. Darn our humanity and tempers. I can't tell if the kids can even tell that we're have a heated debate...they just seem annoyed that I can't answer their questions or tend to their needs in the middle of it.
What's your discussion style?
Have you and your spouse figured it out?