Thursday, September 29, 2005

The Comfort of Plastic Mattresses & Clorox

Luckily the last three days have only been a category 2 flu storm in our household. R and C threw up on different days and my son thankfully contained his vomit to the kitchen floor (wipeable) and his crib (washable). God knows how I'll handle vomit once the kids are on REAL beds. No more wiping down mattresses. Yet hopefully by that time they'll have the awareness to either run to the toilet or use a bucket. I remember the first time R ever had the flu...that was almost a parenting deal breaker. Though I do appreciate all my mom dealt with now.
I remember my mom telling me as a child that adults rarely get, I joyfully looked forward to that magic adulthood with little illness. AND I'M STILL WAITING!!!! On day four of this flu I got my turn. Unfortunately nobody can mother you when you're sick as well as your own mother. Mine is 500 miles away. There are days when I miss her, but when I'm sick my body cries for some nurturing of my own. Do husbands ever catch on to that nurturing need when their wives are sick. Whenever J is sick I do what any woman does and I nurture the hell out of him. Luckily we are all well as of today and I can venture out of my house that still smells a little sick.
Oh, I'm in an intensive an intensive 30 week therapy program through my church. We've only done the intro so far and I'm already all about everybody going through it. Here's the website and I'm sure I'll have more to say about it the further I get into it.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Curse You Proverbs 31 Woman!!!!!!!

I have to make a movie recommendation: “I Heart Huckabees”. Talk about your surprising movie plot. I had no idea it was about the meaning of life when I turned it on…very timely for me. It always amazes me when movies can come so close to speaking truth…then turn left at the last second. I read about the lives of the actors in that movie and it amazes me that they can’t glean any truth from the characters they portray. Guess I do the same thing on a daily basis with what God puts in front of my eyes.
I also have a HUGE gripe with the diabolical and (oddly) ever popular “Proverbs 31” woman. I’m reading a book where the female author might as well be worshipping at the altar of that “woman” instead of God. It’s like friggin nails on a chalkboard…the author says, “…our wise Father calls you to be an ENTERPRISING HOMEMAKER and wife who adds TOUCHES OF BEAUTY to her home.” !!! That smacks of outward works only, as does all of the author’s points. Good money management, nice appearance, orderly housekeeping…all nice things but not the POINT of God’s plan and heart in my opinion. Here’s my real problem with the Proverbs 31 woman…she IS NOT actually a woman. If you read and study the book of Proverbs (or any book of the Bible) for any length of time you come to realize that each book has any overlying agenda and theme. In Proverbs that theme is wisdom. And how, dear students, is wisdom portrayed throughout the entire book? By a WOMAN!!!!! My sweet, well-meaning, stepford wife author of, “Beautiful In God’s Eyes,” please realize the error of your ways and stop pressuring women with this retarded notion of the perfect woman.
Can ya tell I’m a little heated about this? Any comments? Please share.

Monday, September 19, 2005

She Kicked It, I Couldn't Be Happier

My daughter R just entered preschool this fall and I'm already feeling the forshadowing of school years to come. Between my husband J playing soccer, R in school, my supposedly part-time job and all the church stuff that come with J's church position I'm about ready to burn my calendar and check into a nice, far away loony home. C'mon, I think overscheduled moms qualify as loony.

Never mind that this will continue until the very last week of October. Yikes! All that to say, J's grandma succumbed to cancer this last week and we had to fly to Nashville for the funeral. Normally this would've been reason lose my mind all over again because we have to stay with J's dad, stepwife, and two step siblings. Oddly I found the stress that normally encompasses these trips paling in comparison to my stressful schedule at home. So, for once, I'm thanking God that I had to go visit my father-in-law...will wonders never cease.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Hello Co-Dependency, My Old Friend

So, J is getting his Masters this year and is playing soccer for CCU as well. When all this was presented to us I thought surely it would be doable. After 2 weeks of 2 practices a day+work+team bonding+schoolwork I was about ready to throw in the proverbial towel. Enter c0-depedency, stage far left. I always I'm a Super Mom who can do all, see all, know all and still have time to do laundry. Yet, without J I'm realizing I lose a lot of emotional and, some would say, mental wind.
He has become my muse, my delight and caffeine. Hmmm...ATTACHED MUCH??!!! That being said I've been taking what little thinking time I've had to analyzing my leach-like behavior. Going from my ultra-controlled parental environment into marriage was great, but my mom was an enabling controller who rarely allowed me to make my own decisions or way. My jr and sr years of high school I found freedom within my cage, but I haven't been able to find my Self since that time. See, the Self has to adapt to marriage and kids, but mine disappeared and I haven't been able to call her back in the last four years. I have moved ever so slowly closer to embracing my Self that I know she exists I'm starting to pursue her more diligently. Hopefully someday I can throw off cruel Co-Dependency and embrace my Self again. Blessings.