We are gathered here today to mourn the loss of some very important members of our family. To the front tree/bush (Stumpy) you provided many a play club and I know you are much happier to not be a confused bush/stump anymore.
To the back dead tree (aka Hammock Holder), thank you for leaving enough of you left so that we can keep enjoying the hammock.
They are survived by Big Boy who continues to keep our A/C costs down and the Black Sheep (a tree that's attacking our telephone pole and serves no purpose other than oxygen production).
Know you will remembered fondly by those little children who counted you shady and useful.
Rest in...wood chips.